Painful Love

an inhalation of love
an inhalation of pain
an inhalation of love
i keep breathing again

endurance of love
endurance of shame
the pain in the heartbeat
over and over again

love breathes in
love breathes out
painful love
i black out

breathing you in
breathing you out
concentration of love
felt in your clout

the beating of love
the beating of pain
you raise your hand over me
again and again

i come back for more
my love so sore
i love you so much
so much and more

i breath you in
and i breath you again
i love you forever
my painful friend

© Leonora Sophie

How I am

How I am
I shouldn't change
Even if it seems strange
That I may not have
The time to do
All the small things
That matter to you

It without intention
That I can assure
But as for this scattiness
There is no cure

I never want to hurt
Friend or foe
But right now I’ve caused pain
And there’s nothing else for e to do but go.

I might hang my head low
But without a doubt I know
I cannot be questioned for how I was and my whole being
So I sit here and wait for the phone to ring.

© Leonora Sophie

Setting the mind free

You've played with my mind
So many games
So many times
And I don't want to be unkind
But when I walk away
It's because it hurts to stay
Even if it hurts to leave

I'm confused
Don't you know
Obliged to wait for you and show
What is loyalty and devotion

Yet I'm empty inside
So many times I've had to hide
And try to say the right thing

It always came out wrong
You never like it
Nor listened long
Enough to pretend to understand

I'm stepping away -
Watch me
Distance is good -
You will see
Look for the calm after the storm

Only time will tell
If these feelings I sell
Are worthless just like me

I shouldn't go
I know
I'll be back I hope
And then my mind will be free

© Leonora Sophie

Goodbye

A stranger

An acquaintance

A friend - 

High maintenance

I don't know you any more

Did I ever before?

Empty and in pain

I can't do this again

Hearts break

Hurt shakes

I don't know you any more

But I shall feel no more anger

Goodbye my friend

My acquaintance - 

The end

Goodbye to you

My unknown stranger

© Leonora Sophie

The foreigner

The foreigner,

The outsider,

Always and never alone.

Standing out in a crowd,

Voices screaming out loud,

But, nobody says a word.

Look at the pavement,

Look at ME

I'm walking tall,

Can't you see -

Look we are the same!

We look strange,

Its true -

Cant go alone -

It's too new.

But what if I need a helping hand.

Will you lend it to me?

Or keep staring indifferently

Walking away on the other side?

You smile, say hello.

A new friend,

I know - 

Thank you for showing me the way.

Lost in a land

I might never understand,

I needed you there

And from the outside, I am let in.

© Leonora Sophie

Clouds

Stuck in between seasons

With barely no reason

No explanation for the clouds o'erhead.

Endless raindrops

Clouds hover,

They've stopped

Just above to show me their grey.

They're heavy and dull,

Dreary and lull,

I don't think I can do it today.

Can I start again?

I wonder when?

Or how could I even begin.

Meandering steps,

Advance to nowhere,

So slow.

I have to wait for these grey clouds to go.

© Leonora Sophie

The corridor of lights.

All alone in the corridor - 

The lights switch on automatically.

Motionless,

Darkness - 

Keep moving, they shine.

Fireflies light up the courtyard below

But I stopped to stare,

Now their light is all I know.

Switch on,

Switch off

But I stand still

I'm waiting for something

Some shiny shrill..

Listen above,

Look down below.

Just wait,

And wonder - 

But don't stand still.

© Leonora Sophie

The Man in Grey

He bought my ideas,

He bought my worth;

He showed me just how much love would hurt.

I know the price he paid -

Sold to the man in grey.

He saw my smile,

He made it his;

We shared in laughter, hugs and tears.

I never looked back after that day -

Sold to the man in grey.

He held my hand,

And led me away;

He knew what heart strings to play -

So giddy on love, I tripped and swayed -

Sold to the man in grey.

We walked forever

Under the stars -

The night never-ending, the dreams all ours.

I’ll give you all my love he said -

Sold to the man in grey.

© Leonora Sophie

More soon......?!

Grandma 2

Five years on,
And the feeling’s still strong -
I miss you as much as before.

I’m still thankful for the days
And all the simple ways
When we laughed and talked some more.

To me you are a star,
Shining over me from afar,
Guiding me along the way.

With the angels you shall sleep.
And in my dreams, I’ll keep
Your memory alive each day.

© Leonora Sophie

The storm may have passed

The storm may have passed,
But it’s raining in my heart;
Each tear as heavy as hail.

My emotions are gone,
My body is numb,
My mind has all gone frail.

I’m picking up the pieces
You have left behind
And ransacking so many memories.

Where did you go?
I’ll never know.
I’m staring at the sky.

So many clouds
Don’t break, never part -
Heavy and haunted, like my heart
And the tears that I cry
For you as you lie

So peaceful -
Goodnight to you.


© Leonora Sophie

My heart is open

My heart is open and raw;
The emptiness just pours
And pours - Never ending.

Emotions have been spilled,
My love has been killed
And I walk head in hands.

Taken away,
The very same day
I said I wouldn’t go.

But I left you alone,
My heart and my soul
How can I ever say sorry.

We smiled and laughed,
And that I remember
We talked of days of old.

How can I thank you now?
I can barely sit down
And hold your hand so cold.

Goodbye, farewell.
The stars shall tell
That you are watching me.

I stand up and see
The shining of light
And I let my heart disappear in flight

My thoughts and feelings
All rise above
All I have is endless love.

Take it with you and know
We all love you so.
How could we ever forget you?

© Leonora Sophie

She

She never had a wedding dress,

Never danced in the sun,

Never stepped out of the crowd,

Never felt life was undone.

She didn't need to step forward.

She sparkled from afar -

She held a brilliance from within,

Much stronger than a star.

She could shoot through her dreams

And wonder what it would be like

To have everyone watch her

As she took her nuptial flight.

The secret she shared

With the love so true,

Was bright as the Rose

He gave her

When he said ‘I love you’.

Stars twinkle in the air.

Heartbeats,

Holding hands,

Walking to the future they share.

© Leonora Sophie

HAIKU - Still (2)

Still as night,
Silent darkness, blind.
Quiet, nothing time.


© Leonora Sophie

HAIKU - Still (1)

Calmness of the mind
Soul searching, easy I find.
Deep breath,  peaceful, still.

© Leonora Sophie

SILENCE!!!

The cacophony of nothing,
Peace ringing in my ears,
A huge blast of emptiness,
One big silent cheer!

There’s nothing to listen to,
No one’s voice to hear.
The world I know has gone
All the sound has disappeared.

Suddenly I think again,
And sit back and relax.
The room around might look the same,
But my ears have taken a step back.

If peacefulness is bliss
Then noise is atrocious
I have stepped out of an abyss
Where the sound is ferocious.

Inhale, out, breathe again
Sanity once again my friend.
The smile returns, I can silently sing.
That is, until I hear the bloody phone ring.

© Leonora Sophie

ThE oLd MAn

There’s an old man on my train
I keep seeing him again and again
He gets on
He gets off
He sometimes travels just one stop
But I see him everyday

Where does he go?
What does he do?
Today he’s lying on the chairs
Catching the rays
Enjoying the day
As the commuters wait for their train

He looks ruffled
Yet he looks content
As he stares down the tracks
He doesn’t move
To make space
For commuters and their bags

What he does all day
I’ve no idea
I must go to work
But there he is each morn
Watching the dawn
At mine, the penultimate stop

To the end of the line
He can’t go
Does he even have a ticket to show?
I try not to stare
Pretend to fiddle with my hair
And ask is this what he does all day?

© Leonora Sophie

Origami

The lady opposite me has a skill
She has a bag of paper
She fold a piece
To make it small
But produces a tall crane

She concentrates
She doesn’t stop
She fills the bag completely

Wait, she takes a pause
Finds another bag
And digs deep inside.

More paper? I wonder
And watch in awe
As she pulls out something colourful.

Just a candy, popped in the mouth
As she resumes her nifty work.

Folding, chewing
Fold away
How many will she make?

How many will she make?

Her bag is filling
100, 1000?
Perhaps they are a present.

Some child will smile and
Thank her granny for her
Non stop folding efforts.

“You’re welcome” She smiles
And disappears to the store
To buy even more paper.

© Leonora Sophie

Travelling home

Wheels rolling
People pushing
Noises proving
How much they're rushing

Check in
Check
Tick the box
Check there's nothing
You've forgot

Stand in line
Don't jump in
Wait until it all begins

Ignore those two
They've jumped ahead
They've no idea
Ignoring the sign you read

Tickets, passport
A big smile too
Welcome aboard
How are you?

Some are grumpy
Some excited
One old lady
She looks frightened

Hop on board
Enjoy the flight
Sleep all day
Pretend it's night

Restless people
Up and down
Stretching legs
Eyebrows frown

How many movies
Can you watch?
Huge eyeballs
I've watched the lot

Bumpy landing
On the ground
Can't stand up yet
Must wait for the funny sound

Rushing to the lockers
Head out of the plane
I've done this before
I'm home again

Uniforms pass
The crew go by
Fast pass exit
While luggage passes by

Mine is last
Makes me wait
No one's in the hall
It's a feeling that I hate

Customs is clear
I push my trolley through
Another long haul
And I'm back to you

© Leonora Sophie